Thinking back on growing up ~ in the 2nd grade Mrs. Beckett asked us all what we wanted to be when we grew up. I thought and I thought... Other kids in the class were saying a doctor, a fireman, a policeman.. All I could think of was a wife and a mommy! What would make me the happiest? What could satisfy my needs and wants... Yup.. it was a mommy .. Of course I was 12 when I stopped taking my doll (Charlie from the age of 2) to church with me. I loved babies and I started working in the nursery at church during Sunday School and during church at the age of 8. Also at the age of 8 I had my first babysitting job watching 1 year old twins! OK yes they lived next door and mom was home if they happened to wake up... and YES I went in and watched them sleep till they Woke up.. who wants to baby sit babies that were asleep!??? =D I just loved Being MOM! As I grew up and into Jr. High school many were saying what they were going to be when they graduated.. What they were going to take in college... Me..I threw around being a vet... because I loved animals, I researched being a teacher because I loved kids, and being a nurse so I can help deliver babies. BUT when it came right down to it.... nothing ever took the place of being a wife and a mother! I just wanted to be married with a family. I dreamed of many babies and a loving husband that went to work everyday while I stayed home with all the kids ~ 8 was my magic number !!! Yup I wanted 8 babies! 8 children to love and run after and chase and play with and take to school and mold into beautiful adults.... My first born to my last would be my pride and joy. Loving God First.... Loving my husband second... and loving the little ones .. loving being a wife and a mother to the fullest! ~ Of course no problems trials or testings was ever in my dreams and certainly not divorce!!! (When Elvis got a divorce I put all my records outside on the roof to melt! and warp.. I couldn't stand not even the word or the act of divorce!) Life sure has a way of throwing us a curve! But never .. never did I change what I wanted to be "when I grow up". 2 divorces later and 2 children later made me realize ~ No matter what, I have my 2 beautiful, perfect children (Yes beautiful and Perfect! ) to give my whole life to! My children were my world and were going to stay that way... and did!!! The wife part was to hard to trust anyone totally and freely. I had put my all into being a mom and the rest into being a wife for the 3rd marriage. .. 22 years into my marriage to Karl and looking back I see that as the kids got older and realizing I wasn't going to be 'mom' in the sense of the word ~ being the one the kids depend on ~ totally trust and need. I started reflecting on the wife part... I knew then things were different than they had been much earlier in the marriage..... I wonder when I started Trusting Karl enough to be the wife I should be ~ I figured out .. early on I never gave him my total ' being a wife' part. Fear triggered this emotion but as months and years went by learned to trust and depend on him ... I love him so!!! He is my total companion, my provider, my friend, my confidant, my husband. I now know I never want to live without him and know he is just he best thing that ever happened to me. ! I am so Blessed!!! Being born in the family I was born in and having my children is the Blessing God Blessed me with. The life I dreamed of has come true but with a total Added Blessing that I prayed for also .... GRANDCHILDREN .. the most amazing Blessing ever! One I had no choice in.. But God Gave to me ... ok, OK .. to their parents .. but they are a gift to me! To their parents - gift by choice! =D My 4 grandchildren I can continue to love, hold, hug, play with , pray for, share! =) ... and most of all I love sharing them with their PA! I am so Blessed!!!me at 6 months
me (and Erica ) 7 months pregnant Me with the baby doll age 10
GRANDCHILD UPDATE
I just went back and read this... It was posted way before my fifth Grandbaby... Josephine Ellen .. What a Joy she is ... added to Jordan Riley, Isaac Neil, Julianne Grace, Valerie Faw... I do believe we are now complete unless God has a different story! Love all around!!! 1
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| I see a resemblance here . |
Kim I have always felt the same way! What's sad is in our culture women are now looked down on if this is what they want. "No ambition." blah! I have known since I was five years old that I wanted to be a mommy....God blessed me...and I have never regretted my choice!
ReplyDeleteI've always thought I was the Weird one out!!! I grew up with everyone saying .. WHY would you want to be alone with rug rats all day... or... if you get a job you'd have a way out of the house.. if you don't you'll regret 'staying at home' coz that's all you'll do! But that was ok with me.. nothing in life is better than being with your own kids... and raising them the way YOU want them raised!! =)
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